dilluns, de maig 29, 2006

Just Divorced!

"Today would be big," he told himself. It would be a day best described by how he felt. Not an easy thing to do given that he is a male and was never supposed to be able to get a grip on his emotions. The "new age man," unsurprisingly, was not a man at all in Northern Kentucky. This social trait was not lost on his little brother when he stopped by that morning to lend the first born a window marker.

"I know you don't have the heart to sell that piece of shit you've been driving around since you had teeth, so you wanna tell me what you want this thing for?"

"What you are talking about? I've got teeth! Paid an arm and a leg for them too!"

"Just make sure you glue 'em on tight so that money don't go to waste. Here, take this thing so I can get going. Jimbo's gonna have a shitfit if I'm late again this week."

"I'll come by your place later to show you what I wanted it for. Now stop trying to ruin the surprise and get the hell outta here."

"You're sure acting weird today."

"I'll tell you, it's one of those days that I feel like I just don't know what to do with myself."

Discussing their schedules as they walked out the door they figured out when they would see each other again, but that wouldn't be until much later. The day had too much in store before it would even consider succumbing to the sun's exhaustion. If the day held any regard for the sun at all was still a topic of debate as it was nowhere in sight. Like every other morning throughout March most of the area was held under a thick veil of clouds. Some will claim that many of the cultural traits of a given region are said to be rooted in that area's climate. Perhaps those same people would blame this easing into sunlight from late winter until mid-spring for the lack of an impulsive blade among the sea of bluegrass.

Today was a decisive day for him. A point of no return that even Bridget Fonda could make no more dramatic. Maybe he should have made this choice a long time ago but there was no denying that some benefit lay in the conviction he had nurtured over the years. From his present vantage point he could see where his marriage had ended, some time long ago in the past, but today was the day the rest of the world would be served notice. OK maybe not the entire geo/demo/porno/topographic expanse of the globe but what is the world considered if not the part you know and live in. The sense of satisfaction the accompanied his epiphany was sufficiently beneficial to outweigh the price he had paid to file for divorce.

Outside in the driveway he shook the window marker as if it were a Yoo-hoo plucked from the back of the shelf. The convulsive jolts were enough to stir his curiosity into wondering why more people didn't celebrate divorce. Maybe it had something to do with people's preference to not want to admit they were wrong. Either way you'd think they would be happy to be rid of it. No doubt wells of sympathy would overflow from his friends if he ever brought it up, so he thought it would better to keep this piece of news to himself; at least until the papers were filed.

Before pressing the wet applicator to the glass hesitation forced its hand by restraining his. He never had used a window marker before and by no means wanted to mess it up. He had always imagined he would be writing some unjustifiable price on this slice of melted sand, but he never had the heart to part ways with his wheels. Like most men he was unable to let any piece of clutter escape his hoarding grasps. He cherished this piece of junk mainly because it was his, but today he loved it because of what he was about to use it for.

After mapping out a game plan and choosing a font size as delicately as an editor strapped for ad dollars would he pressed the marker against the glass. He wished more words could fit. Perhaps a "finally" could have fit, but "just" would do fine since there wasn't a doubt which word would be the star of the makeshift marquee.

Finished, he took a few steps back to judge his masterpiece.

"JUST DIVORCED"

He examined his creation, and it was good. Yet as the declaration stared back at him he could not help but notice that there was definitely something missing. The seconds moved begrudgingly on his train of thought. Suddenly overcome with some sense of enlightenment he moved towards the back window of his car to finish the job.

"JUST DIVORCED!"

Perhaps it wasn't much but the emotion he channeled through it was more than most would believe was contained in this multi-appendeged beer keg he called his body. Never one to be boisterous, he knew these two economy sized words would cause quite a stir among his friends and family. It was still a mystery to him as to whether he anticipated his wedding day with as much fervor. He knew exactly who would remember.

"Hey! Where are you?"

"Over here"

"Well, when you are done on the toilet come outside so I can show you something."

"How do you know I don't have something in here to show you?"

"I'm sure its nothing I haven't seen before. I'll be out on the porch. And bring me a shirt too!"

(tbc...)



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Everything on this website is solely the opinion of Michael Lorenzo, which should not be taken to reflect the truth in any way. As for the pictures, I don't know who these people are.