dissabte, de febrer 17, 2007
Why I Shouldn't Drink or How I Forgot to Remember the Drive of a Lifetime
(DISCLAIMER: Non-linear Storytelling Ahead!)
Waking up is always a good thing. There may be situations where you may want to stay asleep, but there is no denying that you will want to wake up at some point. When I awoke on Friday morning I had no doubt it was a good thing. The main reason being that I had no idea how I ended up waking up in my house. I didn't know that the Spam All Stars were even done playing yet.
As I began to retrace my steps through the path of discarded clothes and the thrown about remnants of what once occupied my pockets I realized I had some 'splaining to do. My license would not be found until two days later, and the clothes would need to be washed imediatley. Thankfully, not due to any fluid spillage but rather b/c of the vast unknown I had just awoken from.
---- 4 hours earlier ----
The main question I have right now is "Where the fuck is the road?" Questions regarding my general location, my motivation for off-roading right before dawn, or how I ended up here would need to wait.
Grass, trees, and a tall fence to my left are all I can make out. Somehow that's all I needed b/c I seem to have come into the situation already going over 50 mph and in the driver's seat.
I need to get the fuck out of here and back home
---- 5 hours earlier ----
It's Thursday night, which means the Spam All Stars will be playing at Hoy Como Ayer. I love that place. So much character. Love the Spam too. I really can't get enough, and I'm a bit insecure that I am not having as good as a time as they deserve when they play.
Either way its ladies night, and ladies love dancing to le Spam's grooves. This is all working together nicely. I think I am going to see if a couple of friends want to help me polish of a bottle of Bombay blue before heading out.
The ladies can go ahead and get there for free, but I'm going to take my time getting sauced up before I even step out.
---- 2 Hours later ----
The bar is blowing up. I can't really ask for anything more, just that this doesn't stop soon. Oh, someone is ordering some Black on the rocks, sweet! This will help keep the good times rolling.
---- 3 hours later ----
Why the hell doesn't this fence end? Is this a park or someone's house that I am driving through? Perhaps a school?
Fuck it I'm going to make my way out. That fence can't stop me at this speed.
---- 4 hours later ----
After waking up and stumbling about my room for a few I thought there might be a chance that I left my license in my car and I went out to take a look. As soon as I got to my car I knew I had done something stupid last night. My hood, front bumper, windshield, roof, and back of my car have scratches on them. I am, at this point, wondering who or what I hit last night.
Did I give that person or thing my license? I really hope not. I really don't need this right now. My head is pounding and I think I'm still a little bit buzzed.
I subsequently called my father to see what he had to say. He had to have seen it. He doesn't miss things like that. Shit he might have been the person who drove that car home from all I can remember. Just 2 days until I wouldn't be staying at my parents house any longer and I couldn't wait until then to wreck my car. Once again timing is everything.
My father's reaction - "It looks like you drove through a fence."
At that point my memory is triggered into displaying images of me behind the wheel of an SUV as it barrels through a park-like setting eventually swerving to the left and blowing through a fence. There are only two thoughts in my head and they are best paraphrased by the following questions:
- How did he know?
- What the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently I had way too much to drink the night before. When I am only drinking liquor and no mixer all night it is very easy to predict what is going to happen. I will black out hours before I pass out. This usually leads to the people around me assuming that I am not "that drunk" or am just having a good time. I have no idea what I say or do at those times, but usually end up having a couple things to deal with in the morning because of it. While it is emboldening in a frat-boy sense to know that your subconscious can continue drinking for you its even more so disheartening to know that control is so easily lost.
I wasted at least 3 gallons of gas driving around in that stupor. Where I drove I don't know. I would like to say I just drove around, but when all I can remember is the part where I was careening through, what looked like, a park I don't feel confident assuming it was an easy drive. Somehow I did not get pulled over. God protected me, and more so whoever else was out there.
I am still kind of scared that I did something else that night which will come back to bite me in the ass. I have never gone driving through a park late at night. I do not know how I would even get my car into the park that I think it might have been. Even worse, I can not think what circumstance would lead me to believe that busting my car through a fence would be a good idea. If anyone can help me fill in the gaps please let me know.
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Waking up is always a good thing. There may be situations where you may want to stay asleep, but there is no denying that you will want to wake up at some point. When I awoke on Friday morning I had no doubt it was a good thing. The main reason being that I had no idea how I ended up waking up in my house. I didn't know that the Spam All Stars were even done playing yet.
As I began to retrace my steps through the path of discarded clothes and the thrown about remnants of what once occupied my pockets I realized I had some 'splaining to do. My license would not be found until two days later, and the clothes would need to be washed imediatley. Thankfully, not due to any fluid spillage but rather b/c of the vast unknown I had just awoken from.
---- 4 hours earlier ----
The main question I have right now is "Where the fuck is the road?" Questions regarding my general location, my motivation for off-roading right before dawn, or how I ended up here would need to wait.
Grass, trees, and a tall fence to my left are all I can make out. Somehow that's all I needed b/c I seem to have come into the situation already going over 50 mph and in the driver's seat.
I need to get the fuck out of here and back home
---- 5 hours earlier ----
It's Thursday night, which means the Spam All Stars will be playing at Hoy Como Ayer. I love that place. So much character. Love the Spam too. I really can't get enough, and I'm a bit insecure that I am not having as good as a time as they deserve when they play.
Either way its ladies night, and ladies love dancing to le Spam's grooves. This is all working together nicely. I think I am going to see if a couple of friends want to help me polish of a bottle of Bombay blue before heading out.
The ladies can go ahead and get there for free, but I'm going to take my time getting sauced up before I even step out.
---- 2 Hours later ----
The bar is blowing up. I can't really ask for anything more, just that this doesn't stop soon. Oh, someone is ordering some Black on the rocks, sweet! This will help keep the good times rolling.
---- 3 hours later ----
Why the hell doesn't this fence end? Is this a park or someone's house that I am driving through? Perhaps a school?
Fuck it I'm going to make my way out. That fence can't stop me at this speed.
---- 4 hours later ----
After waking up and stumbling about my room for a few I thought there might be a chance that I left my license in my car and I went out to take a look. As soon as I got to my car I knew I had done something stupid last night. My hood, front bumper, windshield, roof, and back of my car have scratches on them. I am, at this point, wondering who or what I hit last night.
Did I give that person or thing my license? I really hope not. I really don't need this right now. My head is pounding and I think I'm still a little bit buzzed.
I subsequently called my father to see what he had to say. He had to have seen it. He doesn't miss things like that. Shit he might have been the person who drove that car home from all I can remember. Just 2 days until I wouldn't be staying at my parents house any longer and I couldn't wait until then to wreck my car. Once again timing is everything.
My father's reaction - "It looks like you drove through a fence."
At that point my memory is triggered into displaying images of me behind the wheel of an SUV as it barrels through a park-like setting eventually swerving to the left and blowing through a fence. There are only two thoughts in my head and they are best paraphrased by the following questions:
- How did he know?
- What the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently I had way too much to drink the night before. When I am only drinking liquor and no mixer all night it is very easy to predict what is going to happen. I will black out hours before I pass out. This usually leads to the people around me assuming that I am not "that drunk" or am just having a good time. I have no idea what I say or do at those times, but usually end up having a couple things to deal with in the morning because of it. While it is emboldening in a frat-boy sense to know that your subconscious can continue drinking for you its even more so disheartening to know that control is so easily lost.
I wasted at least 3 gallons of gas driving around in that stupor. Where I drove I don't know. I would like to say I just drove around, but when all I can remember is the part where I was careening through, what looked like, a park I don't feel confident assuming it was an easy drive. Somehow I did not get pulled over. God protected me, and more so whoever else was out there.
I am still kind of scared that I did something else that night which will come back to bite me in the ass. I have never gone driving through a park late at night. I do not know how I would even get my car into the park that I think it might have been. Even worse, I can not think what circumstance would lead me to believe that busting my car through a fence would be a good idea. If anyone can help me fill in the gaps please let me know.
Publica un comentari a l'entrada